Family meals becoming a lost art

June 23, 2006

FROM THE NEWSROOM/Joel Davidson

Growing up, my three brothers and I held established seats at the family table, with mom and dad stationed at the table's southern end. For nearly 15 years, we ate dinner in these exact same spots.

We blessed the food, swapped a few stories and shared the minor victories and struggles that tend to define the course of family life.

To be sure, arguments and spilt milk elbowed their way into these nightly gatherings. We didn't always appreciate the food like we should (sorry mom), but sitting shoulder to shoulder, our separate lives wove into a collective story.

These meals were nothing new in the course of human events. In fact, most homes still reserve a whole room for the family dining table.

I am told, though, that traditional mealtimes are declining. In fact, many new homes, despite growing square footage, are built without dining rooms at all. Instead, entertainment rooms expand, and people increasingly eat on their own - at the computer, watching TV and running errands.

According to a recent national study, however, regular family meals benefit children. A 2005 report from the national research group, Child Trends, says teens “who regularly eat meals with their families are less likely to get into fights, think about suicide, smoke, drink and use drugs.” These kids also are less likely to initiate sexual activity at a young age, and they generally do better academically.

Unfortunately, for many families, communal meals are rare.

In 2003, the Child Trends report found that nearly one in three teens (ages 12-17) ate a mere three times a week or less with their family. For younger kids, family meals were a bit more frequent. But still one in five kids (ages 6-11) ate three times a week or less with their family.

Scheduling meals isn't easy. In many cases, both mom and dad work. On top of that, kids often participate in sports or after-school activities. Clocks spin fast and days burn away. Corralling everyone together for even 30 minutes can prove difficult.

With all the separate schedules, errands, overtime, commutes, homework and sitcoms, why not take food on the fly and forget the fading family meal?

Meals are historically one of the best places to stop and listen to each other. That's why we have dinner dates, dinner parties, luncheons and picnics. As busy as modern life is, we still have to eat. In fact, most of us love to eat, and meals allow time and space for human interaction. Where else can people regularly gather together without television, Internet, video games or other distractions vying for attention?

Meals don't take long, but over the years they add up, gradually transmitting traditions and stories that bind people together. Families can't afford to simply live under the same roof. In order to create strong identities and a sense of belonging, we must make time to weave our lives together.

What better place to start than by passing the bread?

Joel Davidson is a Frontiersman reporter. Contact him at 352-2266 or joel.davidson@ frontiersman.com.